Easy solutions to hard problems 1: solving the national debt

Talk about pesky problems, the national debt has had us scratching our heads for years. I'm pleased to say I have an answer for ya.

Here's a plan that I'll implement if I ever get around to becoming prez. We use a technique developed by our own corporations. In a nutshell, it is this: consolidate our debt in one state, and then spin that state off as a separate country, which does the equivalent of filing chapter 11.

1) The state of Texas has an open secret that most Americans don't know about. As most lone star natives are aware, Texas has the option of splitting (or MIRVing if you will) at any time into five states, each with equal representation in the Senate. The boundaries of that split are to be determined by Texas. So Texas splits off four tiny states, perhaps with some gulf shore access, and we name one of them the "State of War".

2) An act of congress is passed, ceding all of our military assets, including most of the national debt, to the State of War. In reality, we cook the books to give the State of War only the debt, and very few assets - a few Sherman tanks, A10 wart hogs, fizzled nukes and chemical weapons, and any bond issues we don't feel like honoring. Plenty of corporate types - maybe some ex ENRON folks, would offer to do this work for us either pro bono, or bill it to the State of War.

3) The State of War declares independence, and immediately files chapter 11. Let the UN, the Hague, or whomever, take over receivership, and see about paying off the creditors.

4) Then we have a big party, and thank Texas for helping out in a time of need.

5) Oh, and the other three extra states are spares. For the time being, they can be loaded with Indian run casinos until we need to deal with future problems. For example, when welfare goes belly up in 35 years, we can create a "State of Unemployment", and pass all the debt and blame off to that tiny country.

Next time: a no-fault system for declaring and fighting wars.
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Mike Russell - mike.russell-home.net